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Yesterday I came home and the dishes were dome, the bed was made, the clothes hung drying, the floor was sparkling, the toilet smelled nice and the baby was home smiling.
I only had to turn on the microwave oven and put my feet under the table ^^

Domestical blis =^_______^=

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Whether you're in the mood for a creative challenge or you're short on time or attention span, this semi-addictive community is perfect for those who find flash fiction way long. Once you get the hang of it, you won't be able to stop. The prince turned into a frog. The girl ran home to mother. Tough to write. Easy to read. It's a double threesome of fun.

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Delicious, ambitious, and occasionally nutritious dishes make for an eclectic, all-you-can-eat feast. Whether you're searching for recipes for your next dinner party or you're jonesing for a late-night brownie fix, your cravings are sure to be well sated. A warm and inclusive community that welcomes all orientations, from carnivores to vegans, from gourmands to junk-food junkies. Guaranteed bias-free, food-positive, and pan-epicurian.

Major argument with the Moogman this weekend. What is this nonsense about being an understanding, loving wife? I quit here and now. I encourage, I support, I listen patiently,... But this weekend I shouted, I rubbed a nose in one's own filth, I pushed and I shoved.

Do I, as a wife, have the role of kicking my man's butt too? I start to think so. After two years of being a kind and understanding wife towards my sadly unemployed man, I'm just a bit too tired of tiptoeing around the truth. And don't even start guilt-tripping me or victimizing yourself. Yes you are without a job. Yes you are being a lazy bum. Yes you are having a depression. And yes you are being useless to me when you are posting messages on yet another Star Wars lightsaber forum or playing farmville on facebook.

Get up and DO stuff!! Clean, tidy up, write letters, call people!! Just stop doing nothing or not much!! No more reassuring "but that's ok dear, really..."

Jeesh I'm so tired of working and then coming home to someone who's too sad to move somewhere good. I've been compasionate for quite a while and careful about my words. Now it's time for butt-shoving.

Everyone has his part to play in this family life. Yours is to be happy and carry your burden of the work.

There!

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Current Location: France, Île-de-France, Val-de-Marne

So I quit Facebook. Too timeconsuming, too much energy drawn into a vat of emptiness...

Let's see how long I can stand it, knowing all of my friends are on facebook, except for some.

If I want to raise a child with minimum screen impact, I'd better start give the right example, huh?!
Blogging makes way more sense since every post is archived and since you can develop your thoughts. Plus no-one HAS to read your post. Not a lot of people do give a damn about one's life so why should I bother people with piles of useless information about some hollow part of my life?

FREEDOM!!!

Yesterday I explained our food regime to my doctor and gosh! I didn't realize we paid such attention to what we eat and how these natural choices for us are each take much more organisation than those of the common French shopper.

We follow the blood type diet.
We only buy seasonal fruit and vegetable.
We only buy ingredients produced closeby.
We only buy organic cleaning products and beauty products.
We only buy products that are free of animal testing.

Five little rules that make us go shop to three totally different places every week. But it's worth it.

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Current Location: France, Île-de-France, Paris

The empire strikes back

RSS feeds again

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Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

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Enveloped in postcards

Photos of the week

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So yesterday, it was that time of year again. The babes birthday is coming up, Saint Nicholas, Christmas,... So I had to go to the... Wait for it... TOY SHOP!!! (screaming)

I found an LJ post from last year saying how I had hated it but I thought that, being older and stronger and all, all would be well thus year.

Hah!

Don't try to enter a toy shop when you are a feminist in favour of LBGT marriage, wanting to break the transgender taboo and promoting diversity. Oh, and don't go into a toy store when you are a caring mother!!

Toy shops are the place where segregation and mysoginy go hand in hand. Every toy is labeled following the stereotyped parent that has been targeted. There is no "cars" shelf, for instance, there is the "boys" shelf. How limiting! There are only blonde female baby dolls. There is a whole seperate world of elitist bitch eco-friendly toys.

There's only noise and eye-damageing colours...

Jeesh!!

And it's even worse when you are a mother. I wanted to buy a plane for the babe. Boy was I under the wrong impression that that was going for the easy choice! Do I take the tall plane with the little people in it? Do I take the one made for 18 months old or the one for 2 years old? Do I take the little one so I can buy her another gift or do I take the big one with the many functions? Does she want to fill it with things or does she want to fly and ride with it?

Effing hell!!!

I was under constant doubt, being convinced that whatever choice I made, I would traumatize my babe with the exact wrong plane! Half an hour I stood pining over bloody planes!!

I almost started crying...

Somehow I calmed down and grabbed the first damn plane I had put my thoughts on in the beginning and went to the teller. I paid and finally noticed I had bought my very first perfect plane wit a female captain and a black crew =^_______^=

And now I know I will never go to another toy shop in my life again because I found this wonderful new thing called "on line shopping"

Bliss!

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Current Location: France, Île-de-France, Paris

Yay, I've got the LJ app on my iPhone. I can now blog whenever I want!!

So I sent in my test for my lactation consultant. I'm waiting for the results but I think I did quite ok. I'm about to start another one, organised by "Message", a support group for young expat mothers. It should last a year and then I will be bound to the organisation for another two years, fulfilling my duties as a boobie teacher.

I'm kinda proud ^^".

I hope I'll be able to help out and support young women and mothers throughout their pre and postnatal period. There is so much wrong information, there's such a lack for support and such a contempt for young mothers, we have to help out everywhere we can. Empower young mothers(to-be) with encouragement and information so they can make informed choices instead of being pushed and shoved around.

Just yesterday I heard about yet another "doctor" telling a mother that breastmilk is not nutritive once the babe is six months old.

So there we go.

I also hope to find some personal fulfilment in this volunteering. I do not have the job I always dreamt of but it is a good job, out of the profit-commercial sector. It is helping the bigger cause of improving education everywhere. Or so I'd like to hope ^^
I'm "just" an assistant at work. I have good colleagues and perform well. I receive abundant praise for my work. I genuinely like to go to work on Mondays.

But it is not a job I want to be defined by solely. I want my daughter to be proud of me for what I bring to other people. I secretly hope I could even inspire her...

Maybe I really should think of becoming a midwife?!

...

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Current Location: France, Île-de-France, Paris

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There! My gramps is 100!!
He's as old as Einsteins relativity theory :)
He's seen the arrival of the phone, he's seen it evolve to cell phones.
He's seen the arrival of the radio, the tv, moving on to multiplexes and, again, cell phone videos.
He's see both world wars, living in one of the most active war zones of WW2, he did not have to fight in any of them, though.
He moved about 40 kilometers with his entire household with his then six children, all of his cattle, his helpers, his household,... and it was way before cars were common so it was moving all these by foot and cart.
He almost drowned, one day, falling in a pit of manure (not a very glorious death that would've been).
He could write a book, since he kept all the facts. Every day, he conscienciously wrote down what happened every day. He's got books and books filled with the number of bread baked, the purchase of cattle, the payment of employees, the birthdays, the deaths and illnesses, the adventures big and small.
He got married on 8 May 1935, a day that would turn out to be historical because ten years later, Germany lost the war and 8 May 1945, on their 10th anniversary, my grandparents heard all the clocks of all the churches of France to ring for them. Since that day, they could celebrate their anniversaries in peace since 8 May is a bank day in France.
He used and abused my grandmother, his wife, till her death bed. He was not a good husband.
He's egotistical, always has been, likes to be the center of the attention.


Hell, he's my gramps and I love him. I cannot forgive him for what he has done to my grandmother because he doesn't see the wrong he has done but even so, he is such a big part of my childhood that it is impossible for me to harbour feelings of resentment or anger.
He's the root of my family tree, I love him.

Fooooor he's a jolly good fellow for he's a jolly good feeeelloooooow ^^

EDIT: If you're reading this, our maintenance is OVER! The problem was not found on our equipment, which means we'll have to work with our ISP to fix this small problem -- which also means another maintenance window in the future -- but at least we have eliminated our side.

Thank you everyone, and a special shout out to rekoil for giving me a great suggestion AND also the opportunity to feel like I've just called in to a local radio station.

Have a great day, night or afternoon wherever you may be.

---

Hi everyone, sorry for the late notice but I'm going to have to do some testing on 1 of our 4 internet circuits TONIGHT; Friday night or Saturday morning depending on which time zone you're in.

Most of us shouldn't notice any impact, though there may be some slowness or lag when I switch traffic on to our other ISP circuits and then another hit when I stop the tests. If a page won't load or times out, try hitting refresh 1 or 2 times and it should load then. If it doesn't work at all... trust me, I'll be typing really really really fast to try to undo whatever I just did. Hopefully you'll have some Halloween candy (if you're in the USA and celebrate that kind of thing) nearby to take away the bitterness of a small site outage. :(

Here's the handy-dandy Website That I Always Use to get a feel for when the maintenance will start in your area. Our site traffic historically dips on Friday afternoons until Saturday morning which is why we tend to pick this time for maintenance work.

( tech details )

status.livejournal.org will, of course be updated before and after the maintenance window. Or else marta will get mad at me. :D

bt

In response to user comments from last week, we want to let you know that we'll remain LJ cut-free for the next month in order to get more eyeballs on our evolving newsletter. As for product coverage, that continues to be our top priority. For more granular detail, however, we recommend you join lj_releases.

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Postcards from the edge

Conquer Writer's Block

1. I find it easier to stand up for other people, and i wouldn't let it slide if they made a rude or hurtful comment.
2. Usually if a friend makes a racist or homophobic remark, I tend to let it slide. I think that while i would not say such things myself, I have no right to censor those around me.
3. This happens all of the time. I confront some relatives, but I refuse to if they are drunk or watch Fox News.
4. I'd let it slide if it was just a private remark... As much as I despise bigotry and intolerance, I know that you can't change people-they have to change themselves ...
5. Confront! confront! confront! Politely, but without equivocation.
6. SPEAK UP. Always, always, always speak up. Letting something slide lets ignorance win. No matter if it offends me directly, or someone else, I will confront the speaker and let them know that's not ok.
7. I don't get offended personally. As an immigrant, woman, gay and person of color if I took every single potentially offensive remark seriously I wouldn't get anything done.
8. I punch them in the balls. With my mind.
9. I do speak up, but often very timidly because I feel that I'm white and therefore I don't really have any authority to lecture someone on what's racist and what isn't...
10. Generally speaking, I do not let this shit fly, because it reduces me as a person, to this non-person and it replicates the destructive discourse that makes sure that sexual minorities, racial minorities, women, people with disabilities, trans people and every intersection thereof into something other than human... And sometimes... I'm just too tired to deal with it, so I roll my eyes, make a sarcastic remark and hope the conversation moves on quickly.

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Curtains

One of my friend decided our friendship is not worth it any longer.
Replying on a post on FB, she started a rant that sudenly grew out of proportions.
After our discussion over the internet, she sent me a message in which she showed that she knows she is in the wrong but doesn't want to talk about it.

In my opinion, she expects me to do the "awww it's ok, come 'ere for a hug"-thing but I am not willing to do that. Unless I accept her sudden wrath and aknowledge to indeed be a "whining elitist that should go back to her own country".

In previous situations with all sorts of friends, I was always the forgiving one (who said "the doormat"?), always the one saying that a friendship is way too precious to lose over futilities like those. But I've grown and I've become much stronger about what I do and do not accept to be told. And this is a line I do not want to see crossed. I know she does know she is in the wrong but she is too proud to actually say the words and tell me so.
Am I a fool to wait for an apology and to expect from a friend to look the truth in the eye ? Or should I, once again, be the lenient one and go back to see her?

The "would you rather be right or rather be happy" does not apply to me, here. She was one of my best friends and she is my baby's godmother. I'd ask "would you rather be proud or would you rather be a godmother?". She'd prefer to lose her relationship with a friend and with her godchild than swallow her pride and ask for an apology.

She has lost many friendships over the year, always over details and futilities, always after these friends have done a LOT for her (two weeks before this altercation, we took her with us on our honeymoon because she just got dumped). She likes being sad and miserable and focus on her loneliness even if she is in fact wonderfully surrounded by the most interesting people I have ever seen. She pushes the people she grows closer with away with an unseen violence and then has reason to scold at them in front of everyone. This has now happened to me and I wonder: should I forgive her? Take the first step and risk a lesson not learned and a possible future repitition of this situation? Or should I indeed wait until she is ready to face the insults she has been throwing at me?

It's tough to have gained weight when I was pregnant. I am now 10kg heavier than I was right before the princess.
Thing is, I'm a feminist and I should not care but hey, 30 years of skinny women propaganda works well on me, I still think I'm a big fat cow.

I do know a perfect body is actually a body that works fine, a body that can dance, sing, twirl, jump, walk, breathe,... a perfect body is a healthy body. There's no use in judging a body by superficial, temporary, subjective criteria cuz all that does is create this state of mind we are all in: uncertainty! And uncertain women are submissive women.

I remember when I lived with the crazy ex-roommate. She used to tell me I used to be obese. Eh... I was a little chunky on the side but I did love these handles and curves, I thought they gave me a comfortable look. But hey, I was in the middle of a depression, I moved to three different countries in six months time, I was vulnerable and brainwashed with anorexia-talk so there, I lost about 10 kg.
Well, there was the six months of non-stop sushi too, that helps :p

But when I weighed only 57 kg, I remember how all the French people told me "oooh, you look so healthy and thin" and how all my Belgian friends told me "goodness, look how skinny you look, are you sure you're ok?!". So there, it IS cultural, it IS skin deep and subjective.

And now I'm a fat cow again, weighing 70 kg against the 60 I weighed just before getting pregnant. Or am I? Which criteria should I use, the scales, the opinion of starved French skinny bitches or my feeling about my body? Maybe I really WAS too skinny back then, maybe I'm just a bit too round right now, who knows? But, you know: WHO CARES?!! My man doesn't, my babe doesn't, my American "overweight" (by French norms) colleagues don't, Anna Wintour doesn't,... so what the hell? Thing is I feel really ok with my body nowadays. My belly is a bit blubbery but for the rest, don't I have the perfect boobs that get the looks from everyone (oh, and they're real ^^)? Don't I have the perfect ass my man likes to slap in front of everyone?

Am I not just peeeer-fact?

Huh?!